oh the irony

so a couple days ago i'm chillin' @ home watchin mtv & that show "fat camp" was on. k i'm not too sure if it's something new or if it's been like this the whole time: when did fat kids get mean? man, when i was chub-chub i was humble&modest. those kids on tv were just as hella mean as the skinny kids that made fun of me! aside from that, the show made me think i should really get back into shape. as i slowly came back from my trance of horrible flashbacks from my preteen years i noticed two empty bags of cheezies & plate where a pandesal w/ cheese+margarine was ( 'cause you know the kid's too poor to fuck w/ butter)

glow in the dark skeet

aaaah shiit, did anyone else watch the grammy's on sunday? kanye's performance? ORRGASSM! ahah, that shit was hella crazy - if that's any "inkling" to what his concert is gonna be on may 29th, imma skeet skeet all over the people in the row below me & why not the row behind me (just so they don't feel left out). for those who missed out on the grammy's here's the performance!

heroin tracks

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; rocko - umma do me (remix)

i'm waist deep into a 4 week cold? flu? i don't know what the fuck it is but i lost my voice a week and a half ago :(

it's been a mean minute since i've checked in last. as of thursday i'm back on the market! aka i'll be unemployed. i've been @ newlyweds for about 9 months & man did that place beat the shit outta me. first of all, i ain't cocky or nothing - but i thought i was a "handsome dude". i never really experienced pre nor post adolescent acne. but there's gotta be something in the air up in that bitch! 'cause i was breaking out like i was wentworth miller.

have u ever blown your nose to find cheese whizz like substances on the kleenex? if so, come fuck w/ me - we're on the same boat. i was a fan of dj webstar's track, but i didn't think i would be rockin the cologne 24/7 (let it rain, now clear it out) chicken noodle soup de toliet. i use to joke around when i would say, "i'm allergic to work" but this shit is serious! newlyweds was givin' me some rashes that resembled heroin tracks on both of my arms, now that looks hella shady.

so long newlyweds, i'd like to say i'm sorry for cutting our relationship short - but i'm not. suck it, wutang bitch!

2girls1cup.com

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY!

we did it baby! knottwood.blogspot.com's first birthday. you came straight from my loins 1 year ago, and i have nurtured you into a tantalizing quick read. i'm so proud of you baby :)

fresh, fly...& artistic? shit

maan, i'm being overwhelmed w/ new emotions towards my taste of bars/clubs. i've been knockin country/techno clubs for as long as i can remember...but u know what? that shit is HELLA fun! last night i checked out halo for the first time w/ abuan & lang. braa, i danced my fucking heart out - i expressed myself on that dancefloor through interpretive-dance like my life depended on it, haha.

i was also able to develop my photos last night from the fisheye camera poca got me for christmas. click the pic to check out my vast gallery of the photos (5 of them).

i paid $25 for this shit?

"fuck that, let's watch 27 dresses" is what i should of said. instead of, "what day is it today? 1 18 000h fucking 8, cloverfield baby! two tickets please"

i'm just being mean, the movie was "alright", but fuck braa - they hyped that movie SOOO much & i don't feel it lived up to it. but i guess i got a deal out of it, not only did i buy tickets for cloverfield BUT i also got to experience what it would be like to be on a rollercoaster for a good hour and half. this movie ain't for the weak stomached, i thought i was gon' upchuck all over the people in the row below. @ times i actually had to look @ the floor to regain...balance? not too sure if that's the right choice of word. as for the monster, it was pretty dope i guess - it was like a really big dinosaur w/ an underbite & testical-like-breathing-apparatus' for ears.

but whoaa, the character beth totally had "dick taking abilities" - seth, superbad.

overall great fucking movie...huh? haha

eeek

HAPPY NEW YEEAR!

i know it's a little bit overdue, but i'm still in the festive mood of ringing in the new year (or maybe because i have finally gotten over my hangover). i still have vague recollections of dec.31; however, skimming through the photos via facebook has jogged flashbacks haha. i woke up in the morning wearing the clothes from the previous night, along w/ my shoes and jacket....covered in what seems to be a fusion between 2 rows of ferrero rocher & 10+ jager bombs. i quickly checked my pockets for the essentials to see if they were intact: wallet? check. phone? fuck. batteries? what the fuck? (SIDENOTE: sorry tim, i can only assume these are yours - i owe you 4 double A's)

i don't even really mean to drink as much as i did (which probably wasn't as much as i think, pusssy) & i rarely do drink, but when i do? i quote jamie foxx, "i make it do what it do baby". (which again, probably isn't that much)

i think i've come a while's way since my first new years drinking experience: grade 8, i shared a smirnoff ice. i was trippin balls



&& this was my face for the most portion of the night - me x belinda

livin' in HD

the only resoultion i got is a HD 1080i 47'' flatscreen sittin in my living room. haha

only a couple days till '08 shits all over '07. to be honest, 2007 flew by like a motherfucker! but prettty eventful. "please take us through it, chronologically & point form", diary. LET'S GOO!

• tatted up number 6
• pulled a kanye on college
• philippines
• left my dead end up after three years
• started another dead end job
• break up
• mexico
• make up
• break up
• make up hahah
• tatted up number 7
• got cut a fat cheque w/ stu
• got outtta debt!!!!

you ready '08? i'm money hungry! i'm ready to make that tuition money :) let's see those unecessary commas before the decimal point!

mURRy christmas!

it's just a little past 4:30pm on christmas eve, and i just finished my christmas shopping - HOLLA! man west ed is a fucking zoo, and i've been to that mall maybe over 10 times this month BUT for some reason i wait till the last day to actually get my shit done.

it hasn't really hit me till now with having the whole "christmas spirit". why? because the mr. bean christmas special is on :)

well this is short, just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas!

g-g-g-gangsta lean!

number 7? holy cow, if tattoos were crack i'd be tyrone biggums!


as i'm typing this i have my right leg up in the air to relieve the pressure off my foot ( i kinda look like a cheezy porno mag spread). now i'm walkin w/ a limp, with blood clots staining my socks, GANGSTA! ANYWAYS, yesterday i went w/ my sister to get a "bonding" tattoo. buut we ditched the idea of getting similiar tattoos for the time being - so we just got "regular" tattoos? haha.

FIRST off i wanna say, my sister is a TANK! she sat through her shit like a champ. while i was watchin i was thinkin to myself, "this is gonna be a breeeeeze" ..... man am i a pussy

seriously that tattoo was probably the worse painful experience i've had out of all 7. i went hard on my chest for a good 8 hours and that couldn't compare to the one hour on my foot haha. i couldn't find my "zen zone", i was trippin out makin faces like a dipped my shlong in a cup of icy hot.. it was a mess.

but what was REAL trip was that while we were @ the shop, our artist (kev) was asking if we were related to a guy named rodney. i was like, "uhh not to sure - what's his last name?" "rodney fabiosa" (it was his previous client he did up a couple weeks back)....what the fuck? there's more than 4 fabiosa's in edmonton? LET ALONE CANADA? kev said he was around my age n shit, so that's hella random. buuut rodney, if somehow you read this - you better stay clear from urge. kev said something bout missing 2 appointments? time is money, and kev said he'd curb stomp your ass if he saw you again :) what a way to put our last name to shame and i don't even know you.

love,
i-have-a-mangina-because-i-skipped-out-on-work-cause-of-my-tattoo-lance

i am..

... a liar, good thing i'm not a scout. so i've been REALLY putting off bloggin for a while.

lately i've been having emo moments. not w/ my heart, nor my penis-heart, rather w/ my brain-heart (?). i'm going through the post-drop-out-of-school-(for funding issues, not cause i don't like school)-and-hating-work-because-i-really-wanna-go-back-to-school-because-i-have-money-now syndrome.

BUT i want to be investing my money+time into something that will a) interest me and b) give me money like a teenager gets acne. i've had alot of time on my hands lately so i usually jump into my wet-suit and surf the web for possible careers. && regardless to the endless list i've made, i'm still stuck w/ "is it interest over money? or the other way around"....cause heaven forbids i'd actually come across something that makes both ends meet.

i really want to say i'll post mexico blogs and/or photos - but i probably won't. that's a lie, i will. that's a lie too - but i will eventually...really.

actions speak louder than blogs

for those devoted readers, i'm still here (hey mom). give me a couple days, scouts honour :)

RANDOMVIDEO;

the real ebony & ivory haha

quickie

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; t pain - i'm sprung

OLA PUTAS! just touched down a couple hours ago, and i'm already fucking w/ my computer. that's called devoution, or nerdiness @ it's finest.

throughout the whole trip i had "i'm sprung" stuck in my head. actually i had it in my head inbetween marv's marathon of chris brown SLASH trey songz. so this song has been on repeat since i got home to get it out of my system haha. man t-pain is the shit :) well except for his looks.

BRB for mexico blogs

i've been workin all day, now i'm gone so cya

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; sleepy brown ft. big boi & pharrell - margaritas

i'm sitting on my floor w/ an abundant of shit all around me, trying to figure out what is critical to pack? stunnas, check. underwear, check. comic books, check. AND i'm set :)

i noticed yesterday that i'm lacking shorts for this trip. so i went on a quest today w/ my sis to find me a couple pairs of shorts. A REASONABLE theory would be that all the shorts would be on sale, with wanting to get rid of them for their winter stock. i was wrong :(

so i'm stuck w/ the dilemma of going back to what i did in high school. scrunching the legs of my pants up, and hold that shit up w/ rubberbands (gheettoo).

so today @ work, before i left i noticed all my co-workers writing on this big piece of paper. i was like AAAWWW, it's goin to be a "have a safe trip" kinda card. yet again, i was wrong :(


click on it for the full size. heads up, my nickname @ work is "porno lance"

take a mEMO

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; the sound of my dad playing filipino christmas music

what's good? ME! what's hood? the extra piece of cloth that covers my head on sweaters.
lately i felt that i really only "need"ed to blog when some sort of event has just taken place, or in 7 day intervals. buut, you know, this is my shit - i created it, i can say whatever the fuck i want :)

i leave in under a week to mexico, weee! that'll be hella gnarly. i don't know really what to pack? or even to expect from mexico. all i got so far is a fresh pack of hanes boxer briefs & a healthy liver waiting to be raped by tequila.

hmm weak, i'm listenin to my playlist on shuffle & jt came on. usually he makes me wanna dance my heart out n shit ahha, but man his sad songs are SAD. like i'm not emo, but foooor real it's like he's singing about me, not to me cause that be h-omo (but hey it's jt, i wouldn't say no if he did want to sing to me. maybe he's lady-lingering powers would transfer onto me).

so over the past year i went through a phase where i thought i was a rapper. my rhymes were really weak - from "bitches" to money (which i was lacking both). but then a couple months ago, i started getting into poetry (but then i went from a "poser" to a "emo"). so i don't know what i'm really shooting for. i have no intentions on being the next lupe, but i think it's kinda fun playin w/ words & shit. sooo i decided to unlock the chasity belt to my "words", and here and there i'll post some of it? cool? cool :)

"dude i'm fucking cute"

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; bow wow ft. omarion - girlfriend

(lance laying on his bed on his stomach w/ his legs wiggling in the air) DEAR DIARY.... hahah

so last night i lost my virginity, my virginity to high-pitched repetitive sounds while dancing my heart till 5 in the mornin. so marv/floyd/chris/stu managed to break down my preconceived feelings towards raves last night - cause braa that shit was hella crazy. but what was fucked up was that we waited in line to get in for fucking TWO HOURS! && i remember i had to pee hella bad w/ stu, so we just pissed around the stairs area in the west ed parkin lot, and when i turn around there's two guys, dressed up in what seemed to be the left over costume shit that ends up on the floor at zellers, standing behind me staring at me smokin:

"that was a really long pee man"
"yeah braa, did u guys need to piss too? it's all yours"
"no we're good"
long pause
"so why are u guys standing behind me?"
long pause
"that's a nice costume"
& that's when i PEACED THE FUCK OUTTA THERE hahaha

but yea man, i felt like i was reading a comic book when i was there - cause a saw a shitload of X-men. eh eh? ECS-men? ECSTASY? thank you thank you, i'm here all week :)

overall great night, who doesn't wanna love a teddy bear? haha

RANDOMVIDEO;

predrinkin before scream; 1:10, "have u guys ever gone 3 days w/out pooing?" - stuart

gr.7 lance had an icebox

been a minute since i've last blogged. couple a days ago i was @ the gym w/ teets and we were talkin bout shit back from junior high when all the filipinos went through the phase of thinkin they were korean (don't front homie, i know you were one of them haha). ANYWAYS, do u remember that korean music video called kiss? or some shit like that. did i have no heart when i was younger, or was i some sort of a fat kid w/ glasses slash cyborg? cause shiiit, i just watched that vid today and i ain't sayin i'm a pussy or nothing - but there must be something wrong w/ the heating in my crib cause my eyes were all sweaty.

a-dooo-kit

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; crank dat ryuuuuuuuu!

"lance, whats your plans for friday?"
"youtubing"

siiigh, it's friday night & i'm @ home. seriously, my parents get more hyphy than i do :( this is hella dumb that i gotta work tomorrow, buuut i do live by c.r.e.a.m so it's all good.

so i spent the most portion of my night looking up highlights of floyd mayweather jr's career on youtube, then i came across his vids from dancing w/ the stars. why oh why? that shit is for D listed celebrities, mayweathers is deee shiiiit! haha. anyways, somehow searching through that shits i came across a home video of some punks crankin dat, "now watch me DOOOOOO"

but what the fuck is this? i know i heard crank dat spiderman/aquaman/batman......but fucking forest gump? i was hesitant at first, but over the past hour i've done more cardio than i have my whole life. i've cranked dat ryu to crankin dat megaman. braa, $10 bucks - youtube anything w/ "crank dat _____", you'll find it.. ex. "crank dat millwoods suburban thug"

fuck braa, i think i got into this too much - somebody WIPE ME DOWN! hahaaha

nu uh, you can't tell me nothing

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; the sound of my clippers to my head

so i guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks - i'm bald, fuck.

1 month hiatus

SONGOFTHEMOMENT; jay z ft. beyonce - bonnie & clyde

cough cough, oh my head - i feeel so sick.....of work :) so its a lil before 11am and hey, i'm @ home and not at work. i thought i jus needed a day to chill & recollect myself from the past couple weeks. alright dim the lights, we're gonna get emo:

i ain't really gonna pour out my soul n shit, cause we'll i'm not that kinda PERSON that messages comments to other people which really should be for their eyes only, but does it for the fuck of it for reasons i have no idea haha. but i feel this quote from this song applies to us,

Only time we don't speak is during Sex and the City.

She gets Carrie fever, but soon as the show is over

She's right back to being my soldier

.

.

.

i guess she was just watching the boxset, haha.