21 going on to 17

i'm 21.
my license expired
my passport is being renewed
i'm technically 17
fuck me

LF's 21 BARS

http://www.zshare.net/audio/193050105462858f/

i go by LF
i dropped the kid
i'm 21 now
on my grown man biz
celly bill is hella high international pros
no roaming charges so local calls is a no go
what it doo baby
leave ya weezy baby
like weezy f baby
when i f ya baby
and to my past
f ya baby
i respect ladies
but this bitch is crazy
humidifying i'm clearing the air
now who wanna be the ms. to
the man of the yearrr.
i can manage you like i'm ari gold
baby u sick - lemme catch a cold
i see you smiling - i comprehend
i see you smiling - ima apprehend
now i could extend on what i intend
but but imma leave it short and instead
just let the cards fall where they descend
holla @ him if u wanna boyfriend
cause u listenin' to a manfriend

RTA 147 - Law & Ethics

10:47 i was visually stimulated by this weeks issue of "vue weekly" being passed to me in a disscusion of sex exploitation in media.

10:57 still stimulated.

is it right? is it wrong? all in all it had gnarly innuendo photos, it was classy 'cause there was no cock shots.

i love college,
lance


p.s still stimulated - pick up a copy to decide for yourself.

supersoak that hoe... hoe=jeans

8:53am i wake up from the person beside me on the bus rustling her shit together as she gets off. why am i cold? i take a second to think about it as i take my backpack off my lap to secure a "no dirty hobo" buffer zone to the seat beside me. why is my backpack soaking? i finally get my shit together in my head. did i just piss myself? no. i unzip my backpack realizing that my water bottle had opened, filling my backpack of water destroying my hard earned 1 week of notes (haha).

i look down.

the genitalia region with a circumference of about a 6 inch radius all around drenched in what was water contained in my gnarly NAIT water bottle.

8:57am i panic.

9:00am i get off @ grant mac (i'm thinking i don't mind embarassing myself AS MUCH as i would at my own school) i run to the washroom and begin the drying process.

9:10am still wet

9:17 still wet and i realize that people are waiting to use the stall (p.s i'm in the handicapped one) and this whole time they haven't heard any dookie noises, just constant rubbing.

9:23 my pants are finally dry, the people are still outside. i pull a fake flush and act cool with my head high hahah.

DAMN!

hoooooooly SHIT! you lames can keep talkin' bout rihanna aka five-head (bigger than a forehead). my baby mama #172 Ciara covers the October cover of VIBE.

hershey kisses

i promise to..

..treat you better. no long late night creeping, no longer will i neglect you until you can't take it anymore then stuff you to an unbearable amount. i should know how to treat you, and i promise i can change. no more broken promises of trying to shape you into the way i want you - don't get me wrong i love you however u were to look, but i promise to change you and me for the better.

i promise you stomach.

penis post

dear knottwood.blogspot.com readers,

i know lance has posted two videos within 24 hours but it is prettty much impossible for me NOT to post this. i know lance would be preettty pissed that i'm doing this but i know deep down, i mean down south he'll know why i'm posting another (and the third) video within 24 hours. now i'm not too sure what the actual song sounds like, for the lack of ears. so if you wanna experience it how i did and probably for the better good, just mute the song. cassie ft. lil wayne - official girl remix.

love,
lance's penis

video of the MONTH

NEYO - MISS INDEPENDENT
i haven't really been a fan of neyo but this video is straight KILLLLLA! gabrielle union & keri hilson & LAUREN LONDON? HAVE MERCY

video of the week

justin timberlake skit @ the ESPY awards

watermelon

maan summer just zoomed by braa. i only got 12 days of summer left before i return to my cave of being a school hermit....

... and i'm fucking excited :)

dude trust ima get my nerd swag on. back-to-school shopping for me is the shiiit. i be all up in staples like a kid in a candy store, a fat kid. ghost busters pencil case? COPPED! unnecessary amount of multi-coloured post-its? COPPED! ahha jk

but one thing i always copped every year when i was in elementary was mr. sketch scented marks AKA magic marks AKA the cocaine gateway for children. i would just sit in class all day trippin balls over watermelon. i remember this kid that sat beside me would colour the rim of his nostrils with the watermelon marker just so he could discreetly get his fix.

now don't get me wrong - i had love for all the other flavours too (except for the black one - no racist haha. who would wanna smell black licorice?). but what always confused me was that why was the brown marker's mascot a teddy bear? i've never smelled a teddy bear and was like, "there's my cinnamon fix".

urine (you're in) trouble

i've surrended my liver to the almighty 2 6. countless transformations into dmx, words slurrin, vision blurrin, cup spillin, range rover pissin, wallet killing nights.

fight it man, $500 for public urination? fuck the system & fuck the police

webslinging asian

what's cookin' good lookin? langansia mamacita! haha

yesterday was a pretty eventful day. i don't know about you guys - but i'm running out of shit to do in deadmonton. how many times can you really go to west ed? haha. so me and f'dizl sporadically decided to do up some indoor rock climbing. MAAAAN, that shit takes alot out of you. and that harness hurts like a mo'fucker when your suspended in the air (but yo' package looks mad nuts - no homo) so before we got to do shit on our own, we went through a 20 min training course provided by a fly pro.

but yo - this fly pro is like fucking spiderman or those gummy hand gel things that you can whip at windows where they stick n shit. cause i didn't see her touch the floor once - she was just crawling all over the building. i swear no lie @ one point she let go w/ both her hands BUT SHE WAS STILL ON THE WALL! she wasn't even harnessed or nothing. she was "boulder" climbing, that's right i got my rock climbing lingo on (that's what $26.99 buys you).

another highlight was when f'dizl was climbing and i was his "spotter". haha he went too far left so that when he lost his grip he swang like a pendulum doing the superman in the air haha.

i felt pretty good after that adventure, except for the fact my hands were permanently in a tiger-like or the "i'm air-boob grabbing you" position. but it's killer now, my forearms feel like i went on a adolescent teen "finding himself" marathon.

later love,
LF

boats & hoes

3am phonecall

if you are the same person that called me this mornin & you ain't hella ugly - holla back. and if you are - sorry you got the wrong number haha.

r.i.p nanay

you spent your time raising your grandchildren yet you had the heart/time to raise me and others with the same amount of love as you did with your own. i remember eating instant chicken soup while watching half of teddy rupxin until you came and switched it to either repeats of lawrence welk on pbs or the young and the restless.

i've never been a big fan of hospitals/funerals. but you're worth it. i walked into a room seeing people i haven't seen in over 15 years. and every conversation i had varied in different forms of,

"wow you're so tall and gwapo now - you used to have such a big head and ears and cried alot"

yeah - it was hella awkward and uncomfortable. but if you were willing to put up with me throughout my childhood - i'm willing to return the favor. thank/love/miss you

my baby's mama covers complex

first of all:

fuck you diddy if the rumors are true about stealing cassie from me.

catch her on the cover of complex that hits newstands on august 12 ;)

video of the week (double feature)

i hope you guys can already tell by now that music is a big part of my life. but it's not just the music - it's the amazing visual aide that particular music videos can do to enhance the experience.
and gnarls barkley's video for "who's gonna save my soul" BY FAR EXCEEDS what i expected (because i'm really not a fan of their work, really? who has love for cee-lo?). BUT this video is a MUST MUST MUST M-U-S-T!


the double feature comes from bow wow & soulja boy. i know alota people don't really feel either of them (more so soulja boy). but i respect 'em both, maybe not soulja boy for his lyrical content - but for his hustle. check the video below for bow wow & soulja boy's video "marco polo"

pocket full of reasons

oh maan. who knew that having a friendship that has lasted for over 15 years you can still learn something new? a few days back i kicked it w/ a old homie of mine (lorenzo). i would of never of had guessed he was just as knee deep into music as i am. we started throwing out lines for shits and giggles and now we're in the works for recording something-something and other future endeavours w/ KDUB x Family Of Sounds.

back in grade 12 me and teetz tried messin around w/ customizing apparel (no homo), which sadly was shelfed away with many of our dreams and aspirations. 4 years later and we're back at it again. we're slowly test-driving some t-shirts so be on the look out nugnugs.

illest video as of today

FARNSWORTH BENTLEY FT. KANYE WEST & SA-RA & ANDRE 3000 - DON'T STOP

THE KW

can't party w/ team kdub? then bring kdub to your party!

THE KW:
ONE LARGE PUNCH BOWL
20 BOTTLES OF NOS
ONE MICKEY OF EVERCLEAR
..and when no one is looking pour half a 20 of vodka.
sip responsibly

call me mclovin - cause my team is superbad

harro harro! yesterday was the yearly celebration of the birth of 1-fifty-1 and the annual kw basketball tournament. big ups to mrs. mcbride for the hella good grub :)

we migrated the celebration over to D-D's house & got our drank on. and sadly yesterday marked the first time i lost in a drinking race. BUT WAIT! let me redeem myself (you need to know the whole story). and let's get the jump off quote ready..... LET'S SET THE SCENARIO

me, f'dizl, D-D & fortmac were gettin' competitive with the whole drinking. after a few rounds it slowly died down to just me and fortmac goin @ it. the consequences were that the loser got pinched, but no one is a loser if everyone is drunk. i tried to think of creative ways to give her a chance in winning. may it be a 5 second start while i sat on the other side of the room eat grapes. or a half glass for her to a full glass for me. who do you think won? "I'M A BEAST, I'M A DOG, I'M A MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM!" - lil wayne

k so i got a lil cocky as the night went on thinkin i was invincible. so the stakes were raised, i sa id if i were to lose D-D could sack me in the groin (why). so the rule was that she was chuggin half a glass to my full glass - she would get a 2 second lead - i had to be on the other side of the room and race to the glass after the 2 seconds - i had to do a push up inbetween all of this.

long story short, my balls are bruised like jeff's arms from ultimate sociables.