i promise to..

..treat you better. no long late night creeping, no longer will i neglect you until you can't take it anymore then stuff you to an unbearable amount. i should know how to treat you, and i promise i can change. no more broken promises of trying to shape you into the way i want you - don't get me wrong i love you however u were to look, but i promise to change you and me for the better.

i promise you stomach.

penis post

dear knottwood.blogspot.com readers,

i know lance has posted two videos within 24 hours but it is prettty much impossible for me NOT to post this. i know lance would be preettty pissed that i'm doing this but i know deep down, i mean down south he'll know why i'm posting another (and the third) video within 24 hours. now i'm not too sure what the actual song sounds like, for the lack of ears. so if you wanna experience it how i did and probably for the better good, just mute the song. cassie ft. lil wayne - official girl remix.

love,
lance's penis

video of the MONTH

NEYO - MISS INDEPENDENT
i haven't really been a fan of neyo but this video is straight KILLLLLA! gabrielle union & keri hilson & LAUREN LONDON? HAVE MERCY

video of the week

justin timberlake skit @ the ESPY awards

watermelon

maan summer just zoomed by braa. i only got 12 days of summer left before i return to my cave of being a school hermit....

... and i'm fucking excited :)

dude trust ima get my nerd swag on. back-to-school shopping for me is the shiiit. i be all up in staples like a kid in a candy store, a fat kid. ghost busters pencil case? COPPED! unnecessary amount of multi-coloured post-its? COPPED! ahha jk

but one thing i always copped every year when i was in elementary was mr. sketch scented marks AKA magic marks AKA the cocaine gateway for children. i would just sit in class all day trippin balls over watermelon. i remember this kid that sat beside me would colour the rim of his nostrils with the watermelon marker just so he could discreetly get his fix.

now don't get me wrong - i had love for all the other flavours too (except for the black one - no racist haha. who would wanna smell black licorice?). but what always confused me was that why was the brown marker's mascot a teddy bear? i've never smelled a teddy bear and was like, "there's my cinnamon fix".

urine (you're in) trouble

i've surrended my liver to the almighty 2 6. countless transformations into dmx, words slurrin, vision blurrin, cup spillin, range rover pissin, wallet killing nights.

fight it man, $500 for public urination? fuck the system & fuck the police

webslinging asian

what's cookin' good lookin? langansia mamacita! haha

yesterday was a pretty eventful day. i don't know about you guys - but i'm running out of shit to do in deadmonton. how many times can you really go to west ed? haha. so me and f'dizl sporadically decided to do up some indoor rock climbing. MAAAAN, that shit takes alot out of you. and that harness hurts like a mo'fucker when your suspended in the air (but yo' package looks mad nuts - no homo) so before we got to do shit on our own, we went through a 20 min training course provided by a fly pro.

but yo - this fly pro is like fucking spiderman or those gummy hand gel things that you can whip at windows where they stick n shit. cause i didn't see her touch the floor once - she was just crawling all over the building. i swear no lie @ one point she let go w/ both her hands BUT SHE WAS STILL ON THE WALL! she wasn't even harnessed or nothing. she was "boulder" climbing, that's right i got my rock climbing lingo on (that's what $26.99 buys you).

another highlight was when f'dizl was climbing and i was his "spotter". haha he went too far left so that when he lost his grip he swang like a pendulum doing the superman in the air haha.

i felt pretty good after that adventure, except for the fact my hands were permanently in a tiger-like or the "i'm air-boob grabbing you" position. but it's killer now, my forearms feel like i went on a adolescent teen "finding himself" marathon.

later love,
LF

boats & hoes

3am phonecall

if you are the same person that called me this mornin & you ain't hella ugly - holla back. and if you are - sorry you got the wrong number haha.

r.i.p nanay

you spent your time raising your grandchildren yet you had the heart/time to raise me and others with the same amount of love as you did with your own. i remember eating instant chicken soup while watching half of teddy rupxin until you came and switched it to either repeats of lawrence welk on pbs or the young and the restless.

i've never been a big fan of hospitals/funerals. but you're worth it. i walked into a room seeing people i haven't seen in over 15 years. and every conversation i had varied in different forms of,

"wow you're so tall and gwapo now - you used to have such a big head and ears and cried alot"

yeah - it was hella awkward and uncomfortable. but if you were willing to put up with me throughout my childhood - i'm willing to return the favor. thank/love/miss you

my baby's mama covers complex

first of all:

fuck you diddy if the rumors are true about stealing cassie from me.

catch her on the cover of complex that hits newstands on august 12 ;)