DEAR SANTA,

alright you fat bastard. i've only been asking for this for over 5 years now, and it's not alot either. regardless to the abundant amount of nice stunts and courteous gestures i've done since i've hit "puberty" - every year you have left me with a pile of coal on the 25th. is this some kind of joke? you waltz your fat ass around in MY HOUSE - eat MY cookies, drink MY milk with your white...glorious...manly....awwthhoommme beard. the fuck is up with that? real cool dude, rub that shit in my face. help a brother out and grant his one christmas wish for facial hair...fuck braa, even chest hair would be dope. thanks

from,
lance